been a while

30 mar 2024

hi there, it's been a minute since i sat down to write a blog entry. i've just been really busy with school and also work especially since things are warming up which means mowing is about to pick back up in earnest. haven't been sleeping very good, i keep waking up throughout the night a bunch and it's been making it so hard to stay awake/be alert during the daytime. so most days i go to work, go to class, then come home and try to stay awake until bedtime so i can hopefully sleep all night which doesn't really work out.

yesterday i got home and decided it was time to deep clean the apartment since i've been lacking on my weekly deep cleanings. scrubbed the floors and turned out all the rugs for a few hours, all that good stuff. halfway through i started losing steam so i didn't get as deep as i wanted to, but all the main stuff that needed to get done got done at least. now i have to sit and ponder what i'm going to do for finals and which classes i'm going to be in next semester. when i think about it, 2 more years really isn't that much time but it seems like forever all the same =P

one of my finals is going to be a digital zine and i've been playing around with the idea of turning it into a neocities site and doing some fun mixed media stuff with HTML/physical art/digital art. we'll see what happens, i still haven't even decided on a lot of key factors that need to go into the project itself. there's just so much to do and so little time it feels like. once summer comes there's not going to be any break, it's gonna be straight to mowing. right now i have a lot of energy when i think about it and i feel pumped, but i know that'll go away after the first few weeks haha

i didn't update you guys on the arthroscopy stuff, i went in for my appointment and they didn't even do it, just kind of looked at me funny and then explained they didn't do it and would have to refer me to a different doctor. it was a little frustrating since i was already referred to this doctor so i'm not really sure what the point of it was, but they did get it rescheduled for this thursday. i was sooo nervous leading up to the appointment, took off class and work and had made all these arrangements for the appointment just for them to not even do it. thankfully this new appointment falls on a time where i didn't have to make any kind of arrangements around the appointment so at least theres that? but now i get to be nervous for it all over again lol i'm not someone who does well with medical stuff

aaaaaanyways i guess that's all i really have for you right now... hope you're enjoying some spring weather where you are and if you're able to see the eclipse this week get out and see it!

my fav blueberry bush is starting to wake back up again


22 mar 2024

it's officially spring! woooo! well, it doesn't really feel like it just yet. things are definitely starting to turn green though and yesterday afternoon it was so pleasant and warm outside. i spent all day working and repotting plants that have gotten too big for the seed trays. there's SO many, hopefully we'll either find somewhere to plant them or someone from the seed sale will take them home. it's looking good in either regard though =] i'm just excited for some warmer weather finally. it feels so good to sit outside in the sunshine and just soak it in, can feel myself coming back to life a little.

haven't had another good opportunity to go out and take pictures recently. during the week i'm so busy with work + school and i can't get a chance to go take photos. i'm really itching for a day with good weather where i can go out and get a Ton of shots and really practice my manual shooting- it's been a while since i've shot anything (like 2021 or early 2022) so it's been fun trying to get back into it. also adjusting to a different camera, for work i always used a canon 5d mark ii so switching over to using a nikon system is a much different feeling. but i love my little camera, can't wait to get out and shoot more with it.

i also just have a lot of classwork that has sprung up on me all of a sudden, so i'm really going to be cracking down on that over the next few weeks. there's only 6 weeks left before summertime, it feels like we just started the semester. if i disappear a little bit or my posting becomes more sparse, it's just because i'm working on all the stuff i have due.

anyways, short entry with no pics today! i'm sorry! just feeling super lazy this morning. i'll make it up to you next post i promise =] happy spring and have a good weekend!

something stupid

17 mar 2024

i don't have really anything to write a whole blog post about but i wanted to share something REALLY stupid i did the other night.

so simon had a hairball sometime in the night on friday, so i got up to clean it. it was maybe 4 am and i was SO tired, i went to grab some special enzyme cleaner stuff we have from under the sink and sprayed tf out of the carpet in order to saturate any potential stains bc i didn't want the carpet getting messed up... as i was cleaning it up, i realized i smelled bleach. yall... i had grabbed BLEACH cleaner that we use for the bathroom!!! idk how it ended up under the kitchen sink, but the bottle is the exact same size/shape as the enzyme cleaner.

i had been trying to be so quiet not to wake up slater, but i remember just blurting out "OMG i just bleached the fucking carpet" so much for trying to keep the carpet nice/waking slater up. don't know why but i really started freaking out and if i had just stayed calm i could've gotten some dish soap to keep the stain from activating any further. =P oh well, hard to think clearly when it's 4 am and you're barely awake. so now there's a great big giant bleach stain on the carpet that thankfully isn't TOO noticeable, but it's still definitely noticable. hoping we can dye it back to the old color or something before we move out inevitably.

anyways, figured i'd share that with you all =P hope you had a great weekend!

a long week

15 mar 2024

hi guys, it's been a while hasn't it? it's been a really busy week in some ways but slow in others. the good news is that i finally got my arthroscopy scheduled for next tuesday, i'm looking forward to getting it over with but not looking forward to actually having it done. thankfully slater will be able to come with me, so that makes me feel a little bit better. this is the worst time of the year for me, this gross in between time when things aren't quite spring but aren't really winter anymore either. the grass is already starting to grow again, and soon mow season will be on us until fall comes around.

we had really nice weather for a bit this week. clear skies and warm temps, i found myself wearing nothing but a cropped tank for a few days this week. definitely got some extra sun, even with all the SPF that i wear. it's nice to finally feel warm outside again, even though i'll probably be complianing about the heat here in a few weeks. can't wait for things to actually turn green again, then it'll really feel like spring. soon plants will be coming out of the greenhouse and either going into the ground or going to a seedling sale that we're planning on doing soon.

i got my new camera this week! it came on wednesday, but i didn't have the time to actually take it for test shots until today. today i got up and went to my supervisors going away party and then after that i took care of some things and then went into the mountains to try and find some interesting spots to take pictures. unfortunately i didn't get very far or do very much because i had a killer headache, but i'm glad that i got a few shots. above all, i'm glad that i got to see my supervisor one last time before they left. they've taught me so much, it really won't be the same without them.

well, i really don't have much to say for this post.. i'm just super exhausted and trying to get myself back together again for the rest of the semester and prepare for the work that's ahead of me. i like the work, but i just don't have the energy for it. however, i realize that i only have a few years to enjoy this sort of labor so i want to enjoy it while i can and be able to look back and be proud of learning new things and putting myself through stuff. anyways, hope you guys enjoy the weekend!

some of the shots i took, i'll add a photo gallery page eventually. need to fiddle with some settings

it all works out in the end

09 mar 2024

i'm trying something out by giving my blog titles entries... not sure why, it just felt like it would be fun to do! we'll see if it sticks. today's been quiet, i'm trying to enjoy the last of my spring break before it's over and it's back to grinding. this first term went by so fast, i can only hope so for the second one as well. at the same time, i don't want it to be over because my job for the summer is kind of in a weird in-between spot where i'm not sure if it's going to work out. either way, i think i'll work it but i really want to be able to take care of the plants in the greenhouse and the garden beds on campus because that's my job title. my current supervisor is more concerned about mowing/mow cycle and i'm worried that i'll get taken away from my foremost duties to focus on mowing and the beds will get neglected and the greenhouse plants will die. i've communicated about him with this a few times but it doesn't really feel like we've come to an actual agreement on what's going to happen with that this summer. time will tell...

and some exciting news, i finally did it! i bought a camera. if you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that i've been talking about wanting to get a camera for years now. even after saving up, i still couldn't bring myself to purchase something so expensive. but some good luck came my way and my tax return came in, so it felt like a sign that now was the time. i deliberated for a few days, looking over all my options again and reading reviews, looking at sample shots, putting it in my cart and taking it back out... then finally today i was like okay, if youre gonna do this then do it. i'm a huge penny pincher and kind of a cheapskate so it's really hard for me to make big purchases, even if it'll be good for me or will open doors for me creatively. so i knew it was time to just go for it, especially with everything falling into place to allow me to do this.

so i did it, pulled the trigger and placed the order. it should be here in a few days, i'm so excited! i should've done this before spring break because all i'll want to do is go out into the mountains and take pictures. the photo game on this blog is about to go so hard lol i can't wait. there's so much that i want to show you guys here in southern appalachia, stuff that isn't just shots of the blue ridge (as beautiful as they are!) i really want to show people a different perspective of it, get up close and personal with the nature here and learn about it then share it with you guys =] it's exciting, but stressful at the same time ebcause i Hate spending money on things like this. it feels frivolous, even though i know it isnt. it's part of my art and art is super important to me, so it's been difficult to go back and forth with myself so much on this. the pains of being a cheap ass =P

well, more good news. i got a letter in the mail today saying i'm good to schedule my arthroscopy! bad news is that it was dated feb 29th, and the letter said i had to schedule within 7 calendar days of that date- the letter didn't come in the mail until today. but after reading the rest of the letter, i think i actually have some time to schedule- either way, i can't do anything about it until monday so i'm just not stressing about it for now. even if i have to put in another order for a referral, it'll still work out. i think of how many times i stressed out about getting appointments scheduled in time and all of this other stuff back a few years ago and how awful it was playing the waiting game. but in the end, everything clicked into place in one way or another. it's an intimidating procedure, but i know it'll be worth it to go through it and finally figure out what's going on with my hip since the mri didn't pick up on anything. just gotta go and get it over with and then it'll be one step closer. fingers crossed!

it feels like i've posted a lot this week, i guess i really haven't been... but i wanted to get in as much as i could while i had the time off. starting monday, i'll be busy and swamped again but it'll be good to finally get back to school and crush the rest of spring semester. only 2 more springs left after this one =] all this week i've been having nightmares that i forgot i had class and show up behind/late/without homework. it's so hard for me to just chill tf out and by the time i finally do break is over =P whatever! well, hopefully next entry ill have my camera by then and i'll have some photos to share with you. trying to decide where's a good place to share them... i guess instagram, but i really don't like that platform. ill figure it out, for now they'll live happily on my website here bc what's better than having your own website with your own gallery? well, hope you guys are having a good weekend and if you've also been on spring break, good luck going back to classes!

this is a little spot behind our apartment building. it's so beautiful and i feel really lucky to have this
little spot back here that i can escape to. i've started bringing herb offerings here to the stream once a week.

07 mar 2024

it's been another beautiful day today. winter really feels like it's on its way out now, i had every single window in the apartment open today... which is two, but still. it was really nice getting to spend the last two days with slater, it feels so rare that we get to do that and it makes me sad. so whenever we have a chance to spend time off together, we try to do at least something small just to get out of the house and enjoy each others company. we went downtown to an herb shop on tuesday, slater needed some rue and we couldn't find any at our regular shop so we tried out this one. it was soooo cool, they had just about everything you could think of dried and packaged. they also had tons of essential oils and tinctures, i wanted to try them all =P

but slater is back at work today, so i've been spending my time trying to savor the last of spring break. all it takes is a little taste of freedom and then suddenly i'm itching to just drop out of school and do anything else. but i like school, i can't complain and it makes more sense for me to stay in for now. not even from a cultural expectation standpoint, but because i genuinely like it and i don't feel like it's quite time for me to go on to the next chapter, you know what i mean? after this semester, it'll be 2 1/2 years left of school. it seems like such a long time now, but i know it'll fly right by me... so for now i'll stay put and enjoy it while i can.

as you all know i really like househunting even though i have no money to buy a house right now, esp with prices and interest rates being where they are right now. but it doesn't stop me from getting on zillow or whatever and peeking at all the opportunities, looking at all the little yards and gardens and trying to imagine us in there. this drives my bf crazy- slater is the type of person who doesn't like to window shop without having any money to spend, and the same goes for houses. looking at houses drives it CRAZY because we can't do anything about it right now and we're kind of in a waiting period while we try to save up, etc.

meanwhile, i'm over here just drooling looking at all the little places and imagining all the possibilities. but every now and then, this comes to bite me in the ass. like for instance, when tehre's a really cute house that checks all the boxes and is somewhat affordable. like to the point where i'm like oh wow, we could feasibly do this...? but it's either too far away, or just slightly out of reach financially. even if it was in reach, i don't think i'd jump to buy a house right now. then i start getting slater's view a little more...

for instance, there was a little house in burnsville NC. it wasn't anything i could afford now, but with time and savings we could've easily made it happen. it sat on the market for about a year and i kept telling myself that if it was still there when i got out of school, then i'd go for it. tbh i thought this knowing full and well that it would sell way before then, but it was still a little sad when i saw it go under contract and get sold. yes, it's sad... but at the same time it's exciting. it just means something else is out there, something that'll truly be the right fit for us =] it'll all work out eventually, all i have to do is put in a lot of work and effort towards it.

well, we just got back from the grocery store. dinner tonight is gonna be steak, potatoes and green beans... i wanna get into cooking more for us, but it's so difficult to make it into a habit. i need to make a weekly meal plan and actually follow throguh, it's a lot easier when i have something planned in advance. especially since slater and i are both so indecisive =P i'm gonna head off for now and get started on making dinner. hope you guys are having a good week!

i'm constantly losing margot, she loves to explore.

04 mar 2024

its ridiculously beautiful outside today. spring is soooo close, i can really feel it when i go outside. you know how when there's a random warm day in winter it still feels like winter? even in late winter? but then there's that one warm day after a cold spell when you go outside and you can suddenly feel like something in the air has shifted... that's exactly what i've been feeling these last few days. yesterday i swung by the greenhouse to check on the seedlings even though it's spring break and i'm not at work for the week... i just couldn't help it, it's so exciting watching them grow. after that i decided to take a long walk down by the riverside and up into the hills, taking plenty of time to stop and just bask in the warm sunlight and listen to the birds. i'm so excited =]

slater's dad and stepmom came into town and stayed for a few days, it was really great to finally meet them. we didn't have a lot of time to do much and slater had to work, but we still got to spend some good time with them and show them around town. hopefully they can come back soon when it's a little warmer and they can spend some more time/get to see some more things. it's not a super big town or anything, but there's a lot happening and so much to explore.

i got some really great news this week... i'm really thankful. and at the same time, my tax return came in too and i think i'll be able to get a camera now! i just need to do some research to see what kind i want to go with. now i'll be able to really step up my photography game on here! thinking of all the exploring ill be doing to test it out... especially once summertime comes around.

it really feels like a good sign- i've been thinking recently about starting up a real estate photography business or something (i'm sure i've mentioned this on here before) just to make some spare cash freelancing. i like the idea of real estate photography because i'm not super good at photographing people or photographing events. it takes a really friendly sociable person to do that type of thing and while i'm friendly, i'm just too shy to really get in there like i should. but maybe i could try again? idk, we'll see! i also think it would be fun to maybe sell nature/wildlife photography prints once i'm better at it. i can't wait to dive into this medium =]

well, now i have the rest of the week ahead of me. today i think i'm going to spend some time writing toyhouse pages, i have a lot of changes that i'm making to quinn as a character and some changes for clive and his father as well that i think will make the story more interesting and have more depth... there was something missing that was keeping me from being able to write more, but i think this will make a really big impact on the flow of the story and how everything fits together... it's coming guys i promise! just bear with me. i'm trying not to let myself get caught up by self sabotage and perfectionism, but things Do have to make sense.

tomorrow slater and i are thinking about driving out into the mountains and just exploring some random little towns, maybe do some recon on where we want to end up settling in when it comes time to choose. we're pretty sold on one area, but you never know until you've seen all your options! it's been a while since we've done something like that, so i think a little day trip will be a nice break for slater since it works so hard. but for now i'm gonna head off, take a minute to do some dailies on SSO and then get to work on drawing and OC stuff. once slater gets home we're gonna stop by the pagan store to get some supplies. i'll see you guys soon!

everything looks dead from afar, but up close... things are blooming all around =]

01 mar 2024

hello and happy first day of meteorological spring! well, it doesn't feel like spring here today. it's been cold and raining all day, but it's the kind of weather that makes you feel nice and cozy when you're inside so i don't mind too much. today marks my first day of spring break, but i don't really feel like i can sit down and relax... this entire semester has just gone by in a blur and there's been a lot of weird feelings so far this year. just lots of stuff changing and happening, my work supervisor leaves in a few weeks and i still can't believe it! i don't know how we're going to cope without them. i decided i would stay and work over the summer, but i'm starting to regret that choice for many reasons ... i will get into those another time though =P sometimes i feel weird talking about work and school on here. like what if someone came across my blog and recognized me? i guess i wouldn't be too bothered, i say what i say and i try to stand by that but idk, it's just a weird feeling i get sometimes.

well, i spent all day out of the house. woke up this morning and got a head start on running errands to get a few things for the apartment before heading to my therapy appointment. then it was straight back home to get the apartment together, slaters dad and step mom are flying in to town tonight and even though they aren't going to be staying with us, i still want the house to be nice for whenever they do come by. as a kid i useed to think my mom was sooo dramatic/overreacting whenever she'd rush to deep clean the house whenever we would have company. but now that i'm older i totally get it, i'm the exact same way now. rushing to vacuum and mop and wipe down things that visitors would never see in the first place but, "just in case" you know.

in other news, the greenhouse is booming! ok, maybe not BOOMING just yet, but there's been so much germination this last week. i won't be in there all of spring break, so it will be really interesting to come back in a week and see how things look. who knows, maybe my nosy self won't be able to stop myself from taking a peek inside over break... i just cant help myself! it's so exciting! but for the most part i think i'll try just to not think about work or school and focus on other stuff.

slater will unfortunatley have to work for the next few days, which means it'll msotly just be me and its parents. i haven't met slater's dad yet, so i'm a little nervous about it.. not for maybe the traditional reasons you'd be nervous to meet your partner's parents, but just because in general meeting new people is kind of stressful. i'm hoping all goes well and after the trip is over i'll try to rest a little or maybe go spend some time outside. i'd like to take my little attachable phone camera lenses up into the mountains again to try and get some more shots, but we'll see. it's been about a year now and i still haven't let myself buy a camera yet... i need to just get over it and do it! maybe when my tax returns come in. either way, it'll happen.

i guess that's all i really had to say for this entry, sorry there's not more. just wanted to check in and say hi hi hello and happy march to all. soon spring will be here (in some places it's already there!) and things will begin to come back to life, bit by bit. i'll see you later!