17 MAR 2023

mood:
listening to: enya - evening falls
weather: cloudy and wet

hi again, it was really good weather yesterday and very cold in the morning but warmed up to the 60s-70s by afternoon. i was sweating because i had put on a lot of layers that morning thinking i was gonna be cold all day. over lunch i decided to drive around through some of the little mountain roads nearby and there was part of me that just wanted to skip my afternoon class and go up far into the woods instead. but i decided to be good since i had work yesterday afternoon too.

i figured i would just go today instead, but the weather is suddenly cloudy and rainy today so i've just been inside all day. it's nice that i have fridays completely open now, i don't have class or work today so for the rest of the term i have 3 day weekends. not too shabby if you ask me.

trying to think of some things that i want to add to the site, i have some ideas but i'm just trying to figure it all out in my head. there's some small formatitng things i want to clean up and i'm considering cleaning up the blog formatting too or at least fix the way the entries are stored... i just need to make my mind up first lol

i learned a lot about tree identification yesterday and got to try it out so that was a lot of fun. i'm planning on sometime soon going out and practicing a little more for fun, it's been really interesting to learn this type of stuff because i've never lived in a place like this before. in texas I lived in a place that had a lot of longleaf pine then when i moved here to NC i ended up in an area that also had a lot of longleaf, so the biomes weren't too different, just a lot less wet. now i'm in a much more different part of NC and there are trees that i've never seen before in person here, so i'm trying to learn more about things.

i guess moving here in the middle of winter has kind of made it hard to see just how different it is, but i've been here plenty of times in the spring/fall so atleast i have a little bit of an idea of what i can look forward to.

although i'm starting to reconsider a lot of stuff now as i mentioned in my last entry, reconsidering a lot about my major and even just being where i'm at in general and the path that i'm on. do i really think getting an education is important or am i just feeling like that because that's what has been instilled in me? i'm still trying to figure out what i'm feeling and what i actually want.

i think i'll try talking to some people from different departments to try and get a better idea if there's even a point in pursuing something different or if i'm just wasting time and money. either way it's not like i can just uproot from where i'm at now unless i wanted to break my lease which would cost me an arm and a leg.

trying to get back into my art and creative endeavours too and figuring out where i'm at on that. the last time i stagnated like this was a few years ago when i was forcing myself into a creative box in order to please the people i was around back then. now i feel myself wanting to explore different things, but i feel like my artistic horses are hitched to one pole. i guess i need to stop thinking about things in terms of whatmy audience enjoys and just do what i like doing and what i feel like doing. whenever i've done that in the past, it not only improves my artwork but it seems like people end up liking it just as much or even more sometimes.

well, i'm going to try and wake up a little because my eyes are getting heavy and this weather isn't helping either. i might curl up for a little bit and take a nap, we'll see.

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